Every 98 seconds an American is sexually assaulted – one of the most humiliating and dehumanizing acts of violence perpetrated against another human being. Common first reactions include;

• trying to put it out of mind because one can not handle it emotionally; nothing will make a difference because the trauma can not be erased

• being unable to immediately acknowledge or label the event as assault, trauma, or sexual/physical abuse

• avoiding the assault instead of reporting it, i.e., putting on a brave face;

• engaging in risky behaviors

• believing the violence was the victims fault and being scared that they will not be believed

• being afraid of the possible consequences of reporting

• experiencing sleeplessness, nightmares, paranoia, fear of routine activites, and may develop PTSD

• Feeling a sense of a lack of safety in routine situations tgat previously felt safe

As the title of the blog suggests the attitude and services/supports surrounding survivors hasn’t changed with the times. Rather than helping a survivor feel safe, the reporting process is traumatic- the proverbial “damned if you do, damned if you don’t”. Statistics from 2016 show that only 23% of victims of rape or sexual assault report the assault, whereas 1 in 6 women and 1 in 33 men in the U.S were victims of sexual assault or rape. Barriers to reporting run the gamut of fear/mistrust of the justice system, to transportation issues, to feelings of shame, fear, uncertainty, guilt, & avoidance. Oftentimes it is like entering a no man’s land (no pun intended)…a path littered with uncertainty, doubt, confusion, mixed messages from all around, where finding safety can be hard with the healing being a complex process in a society that either denies it or erects barriers to access for support and treatment. Sound overwhelming?

IT IS - not only for the victim … IT IS also overwhelming for

• Social services health and medical teams including SANE nurses.

• Victim Advocates and emergency response teams

• Law enforcement and prosecutors

• College Campuses

• Military

• Tribal agencies

One-third of victims don’t share their experiences with anyone - not even a close friend or family member for many complex and interlocking reasons. Survivors fear losing control of the situation. Until recently technology has not been made available as a part of the response to survivors.  The benefits of using a technology based program (from an advocacy perspective) include using it as an instrument that increases the comfort of retelling the trauma that occurred, decreases the uncertainty of the criminal justice process, and offers broader options for safety planning. Technology may an instrument that supports the survivor in multiple ways over time.

Seek then Speak offers an alternative reporting option using technology access. It provides anonymous reporting, with non-investigative reporting. It is self-guided with translated access, disability access, and allows the survivor privacy and the ability to regain power and control that was lost in experiencing the trauma. It can also be a resource for loved ones. Whether the survivor chooses to report the crime is only one part of the website. There are so many facets to inform and educate. Importantly, it meets all the confidentiality standards of the Health Insurance and Portability and Accountability Act (HIPPA), the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA), the Family Violence Prevention and Services Act (FVPSA), and the Victims of Crime Act (VOCA).

In composing the initial report there are other benefits for the survivor in that it can be supportive for interview preparation by changing the power dynamics present in an interview. It assists law enforcement as it is time stamped and is a written statement. This in turn supports the District Attorney on the front end of an investigation by reducing gaps and the wait time for law enforcement to have available personnel in taking reports. There are options for submittal to law enforcement whereby they have a specific email for these reports. Once submitted it becomes part of the case. Importantly for the survivors, it reduces the re-traumatization of retelling their story. The survivor also has options to save their file online, download, print, or email a copy for their records.

Through Seek then Speak survivors have access to the justice system without the fear of losing control of the situation. Professionals interviewed that work with survivors in the justice system have given witness to the positive outcomes for survivors and creating a more collaborative partnership. With the possibility of internal blame, shame, guilt and fear of humiliation, this program allows a survivor the ability to consider multiple choices and choose the path that is best for them in a thoughtful, resourceful and supportive way. In many cases their justice may be defined as simply having their voice heard.

Circle of Advocacy works closely with survivors to support their journey. Violence against a person is traumatic in all forms, and we recognize the devastating effects that the act of sexual assault can cause an intense emotional wounding, mostly to women and the LBGTQIA+ community. While this program supports and educates the community, as well as the next generation, it is also supporting those of us that work with individuals experiencing the indignity of feeling helpless. Seek then Speak can help reduce the survivor blaming themselves or receiving blame from others for the misconduct of the perpetrator as it is a very private process. 

While sexual violations wound a person’s self-esteem, self-concept, and sense of self, this program offers a path forward with resources and support for survivors and has created a new game in town. 

For those of us who have a love/hate relationship with technology…this is love. As we close out the month that has a focus on sexual assault, this tool is a game changer and if one were to examine what was learned or gained, we hope this tops the list. We are hoping that having it on our website will serve our community going forward and that you having read this will share it out in the community. Circle of Advocacy is looking forward to advocating for its use and implementation throughout law enforcement and the judicial system as a tool to for all those involved but especially in its continued work with survivors of sexual assault that supports their journey toward healing.

As an organization, we are excited for the support from this community based organization that recognizes our commitment to serving the needs of our youth through education that can impact them now and in the participants’ future. The flyer is included here, and we hope that you will put it out with your community contacts and partners. AND it is free!

The construct of relational health is an idea that is gaining more traction in the aftermath of COVID and the effects that it had on children and their development. Some of the most recent research published has reported a threefold increase in violence towards school and childcare staff since the return from the outbreak of the pandemic in March 2020. The lives of many people have drastically changed, with children in particular being affected in their daily lives by school closures and the loss of the supports provided to children in the school setting. Prior to schools closing, millions of students relied on the mental health resources provided by schools, the social settings both during the school day and in afterschool settings, as well as their nutritional needs. Children become violent when their needs aren’t met.

Initially, the focus will be teens and tweens, with curriculum being developed for the younger age groups that is developmentally appropriate. The underlying driver is that a significant amount of time was taken from our children during the pandemic that has affected their socio-emotional development as they are about to enter the dating world, secondary education prep, and needing job skills as they enter the workforce and navigate the world in the realm of social media. Just one concept alone, dating, can fill a person with excitement or dread, or a mixture of both and now add in the passive communication present today-breadcrumbing, caking, catch and release, and cushioning, just to name a few. 

Circle of Advocacy’s program does not focus on one concept but rather the values emulated in healthy relationships-trust, respect, reliability, honesty, kindness, and empathy. Espousing that relationships are give and take, similarities and differences with rules, rights, and responsibilities. Introducing the concepts of a healthy relationship that include self-care, communicating effectively, learning to resolve conflict, and exploring a relationship bill of rights- to stay or go.

Viewing development through the lens of relational health reflects the recognition of the critical role relationships play in the overall development, and the complex system of relationships that are inherent in that development-socioemotional, cognitive, neuro-biological, and health outcomes has contributed to a growing shift in efforts to identify relational determinants at all stages of development. Circe of Advocacy has developed programming that supports the child, specifically targeting the construct of relational health as a tool for promoting socio-emotional and physical health throughout their lives. We ask for your support in launching this program within our community as we reach out to our community partners that work with our youth. Lastly, but importantly, it is a malleable program and can be tailored to meet the needs of the organization or group.

We are excited and hope to hear from you! And there is a gift card as well!

When you think of teens and dating, domestic violence is probably not where your mind goes. Yet, if you identify as female, I’m sure you can recall a time or two that you experienced inappropriate remarks, touches, or a form of sexualized bullying that undermined your dignity and possibly your safety. Though the term “female” is referenced above, teen dating violence does not discriminate. There are no gender, age, race, or economic restrictions on relationship violence and abuse. Preventing teen dating violence and abuse is not the teenager’s burden to carry; we must step up as adults and create safe spaces for conversations and education during these formative years.

Teen dating violence is more common than people think. 1 in 3 teens experience some form of abuse before adulthood (loveisrespect.org), and according to youth.gov, youth aged 12 to 19 have the highest rates of rape and sexual assault nationwide, yet it is rarely talked about. Alarmingly, only about one-third of teens ever tell anyone about their abuse. It is a silent epidemic. With these stats, I scream to the world, “All young people deserve to be safe and to learn how to build relationships free from violence!” 

We have a responsibility to identify unhealthy relationships within our youth population. We - parents, grandparents, educators, medical and mental health professionals, and society - can play a role in prevention by learning the warning signs. It’s time to act, to work toward a solution to ending teen dating violence. To educate, empower, and encourage our youth. Let’s keep violence out of teen dating relationships. NOW is the perfect time to start conversations about healthy relationships with the youth in your life.

Teen dating violence and abuse and other gender-based violence, such as rape and sexual assault, are incredibly challenging for our young populations to speak about. Talk to your sons. Talk to your daughters. Show up with compassion and respect. Don’t be afraid to have uncomfortable conversations. Promote an understanding of healthy vs. unhealthy relationships. Talk about the warning signs. Talk about safety planning and the next steps. Talk about their rights. Abuse is never the victims’ fault. We have the power to end teen dating violence. 

For more information, check out these organizations and tools to build awareness:

Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month

Love Is Respect

No More

National Domestic Violence Hotline

A Survivor of Teen Dating Violence, a mother, and a Grandma XO  

As we enter the month where people are focused on the Thanksgiving holiday in the Anglo-Saxon tradition, we would like to focus on the traditions that teach a profound respect for the land teaching balance between this island home and humankind. This is the time that we want to celebrate the rich cultural tapestries of the many tribes/clans, and the kaleidoscope of traditions and contributions of the First Nations People throughout the Americas and the gifts they have given to the world.

Many of these legacies are found in what is known as the Columbian Exchange-the exchange of crops between the Old World and New World. This continues to be perhaps one of the greatest changes that reshaped agriculture, adding an untold richness to the culinary world. The crops that are spoken of were not only about sustenance, but also included a cultural exchange - speaking to resiliency and the transformation of peoples and their lands.

Sharing some of this historical information in this forum is important because it inherently speaks to our vision and celebrations of traditions as lifeforms, while offering a glimpse into the wisdom of the First Nations People’s communities and agricultural practices, which we around the world are now embracing. This in turn gives rise to resiliency through sustainable agricultural systems that are deeply interconnected spiritually; honoring the lands’ biodiversity and seasonal rhythms and healing strengths. Their agro-ecological practices include terracing, companion planting, irrigation in direct opposition of the mono-agriculture practiced in many places on our Earth, especially the United States. With the path forward in the face of catastrophic climate changes and food insecurities, the First Peoples’ Nations continue to have a profound respect for the land-seeking balance between humanity and nature. 

Some of the world crops that we can thank the First Peoples Nations for are: maize (Roy’s Calais Abenaki Flint), beans (Ayocote Morado), squash (Candy Roaster Squash). Collectively these crops are known as the “Three Sisters method”. These crops form a symbiotically companion planting detering weeds and pests while enriching the soil. They grow in support of each other and are equally important in attracting pollinators. This makes the land richer instead of stripping it. This is an important cultural feature of the Cherokee nation that practiced this method of cultivating. 

It is important to recognize the efforts of organizations, deeply invested in keeping/protecting indigenous seeds, and other food sources. The conversation of the rich biodiversity of seeds serves to strengthen the community’s spiritual cultural heritage through traditions. Estimates by the U.N. Food & Agricultural Organization (FAO) estimates that within just one century, since the 1900’s, about 75% of the world’s plant diversity has been lost. Biodiversity serves as an insurance policy that has an increased capacity to withstand changing climatic changes, water scarcity, and/or new pests or diseases. Biodiversity provides strengths to the onslaught of any those stressors- so too in the First Peoples’ Nations agricultural practices have ingrained resilience- that deep interconnection and spirituality by honoring the land. Join us in celebrating…how About a Festival?

Thanks to the many efforts of Food Tank, Native Seeds (SEARCH), Renewing America’s Food Traditions (RAFT) Alliances, Native Harvest, Seed Saver’s Exchange, Slow Food Int’l. Ark of Taste for supporting our native lands.

The following crops, from the First Peoples Nations have been identified as changing the agricultural world:

Acorns

Amaranth

American Persimmon

Anishinaabe Manoomin (wild rice)

Potatoes

Bay of Fundy Dulce

Blue Camas

Tomatoes

Chaya (evergreen plant)

Chili Peppers- Chiltepin

Cacao

Cholla Cactus flower bulbs

Ostrich Fern Fiddlehead

Paws Paws

Ramon seed